Donaldson: Kalani Sitake Love Bomb Showcases State Of Utah’s Best Qualities
Dec 3, 2025, 1:14 PM | Updated: 1:16 pm
MADISON, WI - SEPTEMBER 15: Head coach Kalani Sitake of the BYU Cougars celebrates with Sione Takitaki #16 after the game against the Wisconsin Badgers at Camp Randall Stadium on September 15, 2018 in Madison, Wisconsin. BYU won 24-21. (Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images)
(Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images)
PROVO, Utah – In a college football season where nothing felt sacred, Kalani Sitake waded into the chaos to give us something that feels increasingly hard to come by – trust.
One of the most talked about virtues offered by sports is teamwork. It’s often defined as the ability to put the needs of a group ahead of yourself or the willingness to set aside your own desires to be what the team needs you to be.
Inherent in effective teamwork is trust. Without trust in each other, no team can accomplish anything special.
Everyone who has been around sports for more than 24 hours knows this. But it is also a value that has become increasingly rare. The reasons are complicated, but it essentially boils down to money and power. The increased popularity of college football has given a lot of people wealth and influence.
That’s not always a bad thing.
But if you want an illustration of how toxic power and money can be, look no further than what’s happened to college football coaches this year. So far 15 head coaches have been fired, and that’s cost institutions of higher education $228 million.
That, my friends, is a record.
And it’s one that we should be so ashamed of, that we change our ways. But until Coach Sitake’s press conference Tuesday night, not many believed there was even a desire to reform a clearly broken system. We have a long list of reasons why – from Lincoln Riley to Brian Kelly – and most recently, Lane Kiffin.
Over and over we watched men leave what they’d built, sometimes at critical moments for their teams, to chase more money, better odds of winning and bigger stages on which to perform.
Sure, they were pummeled with criticism. But most people also resigned themselves to believing that this is what the best and brightest do – search for success in bigger challenges and the highest stakes.
“He has to do what’s best for his career.”
“He’s just trying to take care of his family.”
“He’s earned this.”
View this post on Instagram
The chorus of justifications was pretty much the same.
Who wouldn’t give up what was once ‘their dream job’ for a shiny new opportunity? Isn’t that how hard work is rewarded? With financial gain, accolades and respect?
Utah Sports Fans: Perpetual Bridesmaids?
So it is completely understandable that when rumors that Penn State wanted to hire Kalani Sitake began to swirl, fans felt panic, outrage and maybe a bit of resignation. It’s not just that Penn State is objectively a ‘bigger stage’ with the kind of respect that would eliminate having to be perfect to be included in national rankings, playoffs and post-season awards.
It’s also that Utah sports fans, as a whole, already feel like perpetual bridesmaids. We have hundreds of ways we’ve been rejected in every sport, at every level.
I mean, we can’t even hang onto someone like Gordon Hayward.
And as much as we’re currently relishing the success of Diego Luna and Lauri Markkanen, we also openly discuss how it might be in their best interest professionally to leave us in the rearview mirror. We have embraced the reality that we are, for most of the sports world, a step on the ladder of success, not a destination.
Yes, I know there are notable exceptions. But they do little to ease our collective case of insecurity. And, interestingly, those exceptions almost always mirror the underdog mentality of their fan bases – Karl Malone and John Stockton; Kyle Beckerman and Nick Rimando; Jerry Sloan and Kyle Whittingham.
So as Cougar Nation watched Lane Kiffin break the hearts of his players and crush the hopes of Ole’ Miss fans to chase personal ambition, it made perfect sense that many assumed they were headed for the same.
All Love For BYU’s Kalani Sitake
Instead of anticipating the Big 12 championship game and the possibility of making the college football playoffs, they agonized about how they could compete in a fight that never seems fair. Even if BYU could pay Coach Sitake what Penn State might offer, they couldn’t offer him that bigger stage, those brighter lights.
All they could offer him was their love.
And in this age of cynical realities and hard truths, that seemed about as helpful as a child’s hand-made macaroni necklace. It is a sweet sentiment but totally worthless in the real world.
The reports were grim.
View this post on Instagram
And then, as all hope seemed lost, a very Utah-esque band of superheroes showed up.
A cookie mogul pledged financial support, Jazz and Mammoth owner Ryan Smith joined the fray, and former NFL and BYU quarterback Steve Young declared “They’re going to have to rip him from our bloody hands.”
A lone BYU student waited at Kalani Sitake’s parking spot with a hand-painted sign begging him to stay.
It was, by any measure, desperate and beautiful – and not remotely enough to persuade Sitake, if his definition of success was anything like Kiffin’s.
Luckily for BYU, and in a way all of the state’s sports fans, Kalani Sitake is a connoisseur of macaroni necklaces.
And while Sitake didn’t share exactly how he defines success, he certainly revealed his priorities in how he handled the Penn State opportunity.
Unlike Lane Kiffin who said he left all the details of his new compensation package to his agent, Kalani Sitake was up to his elbows in negotiations to give his staff more security, his players more financial opportunities, and to hold onto the best situation for his own family.
BYU Love Bomb
In that effort, he sought advice from the 93-year-old wife of his coach and mentor – Patti Edwards.
She didn’t tell him what to do. She just shared what a gift it was to have the kind of home that anchors you, that allows you to feel safe while taking risks. And just as those rumors reached fever-pitch, he called a meeting with his players and then a Tuesday-night press conference. Even before it started, everyone knew he was staying at BYU.
But the real heroes of this chaotic, college-football moment turned out to be the fans, who gave the fight to keep their coach the only thing they had – love.
And while sentiment isn’t worth much to a lot of people, it mattered to Sitake.
Near the end of the press conference, he said he wanted to “express my love to all the fans.”
View this post on Instagram
Then he paused, shook his head and looked down as a muffled sob escaped his attempt to control his emotions.
“My wife said that the last day or so was probably one of her favorites, my family,” he said, his voice wavering. “She called it a love bomb …from all the fans. Yeah, it’s hard to leave when you have something so special, and you have amazing people that support us. I’m just so grateful I get to be around the amazing fans. To make things easier, let’s just quit all the drama. I’m here.”
And with that expression of love and gratitude, he gave fans someone who appreciated their loyalty, who understood their relationship with BYU, who wants faith to be a part of football, and who felt sometimes like they did – overlooked and underestimated. He gave them the hope that success is more than just winning trophies, making money and chasing the respect of people you don’t even know.
But most of all, Kalani Sitake gave us all a leader we can trust.
And if college sports needs anything right now, it’s a leader who can look into the mess we’ve made and see that magic is still possible. After all, when you have trust, you have the most critical ingredient needed to achieve something special.
